The Lion King

Students at BYU are on the prowl.

It was hard for me to come up with something about BYU I don’t like. I love it here – the campus is beautiful, the Honor Code is impressive, the professors are helpful, the Gospel is incorporated in every lesson, the people are friendly… The people are very friendly.

I’ve found that what I don’t much like about BYU has nothing to do with its policies or property. It’s the culture.

Not that I entirely dislike the culture here. Most everyone is kind and thoughtful and intelligent; they carry a cheerful spirit with them, and I appreciate that. The day I moved in, a few boys I had never met helped me to move my stuff into my dorm. But in the week and a half I’ve been here, I’ve already begun to feel the constant squeeze of social pressure…to date.

The moment everyone started moving in, the social gatherings began. What first seems like an innocent “getting to know you” party violently becomes a mad rush to meet as many people as possible. Names are tossed around only slightly less than flirty exchanges; numbers are texted frantically into phones; bodies are scanned, talents calculated, personalities quickly (and incorrectly) established from a two-minute exchange.

Walking around campus is somewhat like being in the middle of an African savannah. No matter where you go, a hundred eyes follow. You are a wounded antelope, and the hunters are watching. Stand in line at Jamba Juice, and someone is right there, waiting for you to give the cashier your name so they can use it against you. Check out a book from the library, and someone is checking you out.

The hunter can be anyone – the RM, looking for a spouse; the freshman girl, looking for a kiss goodnight. And any moment, the hunter can instantly become the hunted. Already the race for a girlfriend or boyfriend – or even a mate – has begun.

None of this is to say that wanting to be in a relationship is a bad thing. Because it isn’t – not at all. But I’ve observed that the best relationships flourish out of friendships. And the best friendships are built through time and trial, respect and love. Relationships happen best if they happen naturally. Why rush through something that can be so wonderful? Why force your way into something because you want to feel validated? It’s okay to take your time. Get an education. Learn who you are and what you want. Find out what you’re capable of. Go to Jamba Juice just to get a smoothie.